Santa Monica Observer - Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words

By Ms. Amber S. Jackson
Lucky Lifer 

Very early in my prison time I was baptised by fire. I saw 12 women gang rape another woman.

Why? They assumed she was hiding drugs inside her vagina. I am an eyewitness to Prison Horrors

 

December 7, 2020

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I love sharing stories of what I've seen in prison. I strictly only share what I've seen with my own eyes. I've seen everything you can imagine happening in prison. And some things you never thought of. After 16 years in, you name it, I've seen it. The look of disbelief people get is worth it!

The most traumatic experience of my life was not something that happened to me but something I witnessed. Very early in my prison time I was baptised by fire. I saw 12 women gang rape another woman. Why? They assumed she was hiding drugs inside her vagina. I was new to the system so I did not know what to do. I looked around me and people bigger and stronger than me did not get involved. So, I stayed out of it. In prison, especially when you're new, you follow suit.

The memories gave me nightmares. I look back and still wish I had intervened. So, I made a promise to myself. If I ever see this kind of thing again, I will stop it. I will do whatever I have to do. If I can't stop it myself, I'll get the correctional officers! Call me a snitch. But, never again will I stand by while women rape another woman! Wrong is wrong. As someone who has been raped and violated in my past, I made this promise to myself. I do not care what anyone thinks. Now that I know better, that's what I would do.

Looking back, I still retained a lot of my innocence when I entered prison. After seeing what I've seen, I now see the world differently. I've seen someone take their last breath. Literally. I've also seen someone OD on heroin, turn bright blue and almost die. Only to be brought back by 2 other heroin users. I did not know what was happening to this person until it was over. In prison, when someone dies, all of the people in the cell go to lock-up until the coroner determines the cause of death. This is an automatic investigation that happens routinely. This can take months. This was an 8 person cell. So, the other 7 of us would have been put in a very uncomfortable position. All I could do was thank my lucky stars that this person lived. This persons selfishness almost killed her and would have cost the rest of us dearly!

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Before prison, I never even saw hard drugs. I was a pot head. I did not hang with method addicts or heroin users. Prison mixes all walks of life. Murderers live with shoplifters. Prostitutes live with embezzlers, etc. Millionaires live with homeless bums. You get the picture. So, you'll be acquaintances with people you might never have imagined. You'll see and learn things you never wanted to!! The California prison system separates male prisoners based on their levels of crimes and behavior. Women do not get that treatment. They put us all together.

I started out at the highest possible level, level 4. Now, I'm level one, the lowest possible level. Hard work. It's easy to climb up levels, it takes years to drop back down. Steady focus and hard work is the only way. After seeing the underbelly of this place, people go one of two ways. Many embrace it and become hardened. Others, like me, become disgusted with this path and go on a quest to change, learn, make amends and have integrity. This is the harder choice. The right choice usually is hardest. But, I'm so proud that I did!!

Well, I'll be happy to regale you with more of my prison tales another time. I've never been into reading fiction. l'm sure you'll agree, reality is much more interesting...

 
 

Reader Comments(4)

W42262 writes:

In my time at VSPW, CCFW & CIW I too witnessed atrocities committed on women by women that are forever seared into my mind and soul. I never allowed myself to become desensitized to those types of vulgarity, because like they written I chose to hold onto a semblance of humanity and I too decided that I could not sit by idly while any of my fellow inmates committed such horrific crimes upon one another. I commend this writter for her bravery and for her for willingness to share this story with us.

Meeko975 writes:

What were you convicted of ? Were you gay for the stay? Did you know of any corrections officers having relationships with inmates? How many years did you serve in prison?

LisaB writes:

Nice cliffhanger!

Kneaka writes:

This was very interesting please give us more stories well especially me!

 
 
 

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