"It's a Giant Vagina!" Exclaims World Watching Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Did you catch last night's Olympic opening ceremony? Michael Phelps was the US Flag Bearer, at his first opening ceremony in 5 Olympics (his sleep schedule conflicted with the other 4 games). It was colorful, moving, and included athletes from 214 countries. There was dancing, Sambas and a lecture on global warming. And best of all, Rio de Janeiro's Maracanã stadium was lit up like a giant vagina. Yep, you heard right.

Brazil celebrated its culture, including happy people who are content despite the fact that they possess little and live in poverty.

As the Independent's Kevin Garside noted from his seat inside the 80,000-seat stadium, bigger than the populations of 87 countries, the ceremony followed an "ecological narrative to tell the story of Brazil". Maracanã Stadium itself seemed to pay tribute to one more thing that each of us possess.

Many people in the twitter sphere noticed a resemblance to the pudendum. As did many other journalists, see for example:

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/people-think-the-olympics-opening-ceremony-looked-a-bit-like-a-giant-vagina--bJ07Sjp1Db

This is not the first time that a major public monument has been compared to the female crown jewels. Stonehenge, it has been theorized, was a giant stone vagina meant to symbolize the passage from life to death, as the original vaginal did the reverse. No really, we're not making this up:

Stonehenge is a prehistoric monument in Wiltshire, England, 200 miles north of London. Stonehenge's ring of standing stones are set within earthworks in the middle of the most dense complex of Neolithic and Bronze Age monuments in England, including several hundred burial mounds. Researchers may have unraveled the mystery of Stonehenge, saying it bears a striking resemblance to a woman's genitals:

Anthony Perks, a professor emeritus of zoology at the University of British Columbia, says the famous English prehistoric monument could have been built as a giant symbol of birth and regeneration.

https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-1497290.html

Yes, everything old is new again. But back to the opening ceremony. More women participated in last night's opening ceremonies than in any previous olympics. Of the 550 competitors sent by the US, 54% are women. So it was perhaps appropriate that the stadium was light up like a huge vulva. This did not escape the notice of the twitter sphere:

This is the #olympic stadium lite up like a big red vagina #RioVirgina #OpeningCeremony #Rio2016 😆 pic.twitter.com/udVGfP3rNb

- Southern Sass (@CortneyCoker) August 6, 2016

Questions were asked...

the Olympic stadium in rio is a vagina???? pic.twitter.com/SICbVx9SRf

- jules (@huliajiggins) August 6, 2016

Some weren't quite sure...

Hmm, vagina ish?#OpeningCeremony pic.twitter.com/JiJ3OeZUap

- Fork me (@forkmeonce) August 6, 2016

But others were definitely convinced...

"And then the Olympians all burst forth from the Great Olympic Vagina!"#OpeningCeremony pic.twitter.com/Y4xChl4en0

- HaleyMancini (@HaleyMancini) August 6, 2016

Caps lock convinced...

THE FACT THAT BOTH MADELINE AND I THOUGHT THE OLYMPIC STADIUM LOOKED LIKE A VAGINA?????@madsforfabs

- Faith (@FlowerchildFab) August 6, 2016

The Olympic Games. Bringing people together since 1896...

I'm not even watching the Olympics lol.. Just here for the vagina imagery

- Bougie Booty (@ShannnonPope) August 6, 2016

The snarkiest comments appear to have originated in London, site of the 2012 Olympics. In fairness, this is not the first time a stadium has been compared to a vagina. Included in this article are photos of Beijing's 2020 Olympic stadium, and Qatar's new stadium.

Speaking of vaginas, some have accused Brazilian supermodel Giselle Bundchen of showing too much of hers last night. Mrs. Tom Brady sashed down the catwalk at the Rio Olympics opening ceremonies. We think she looked just fine. No wonder she gets paid 300,000 Euros for a 2 hour photoshoot.

Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics! #COYOTE. And enjoy the games.