Santa Monica Observer - Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words

Donald Trump Debates Like a Kid Who Didn't Do the Reading Assignment for School

Every student knowa how to BS through a discussion class


October 20, 2016

Donald Trump trying to figure out what to say when he doesn't have anything relevant to say.

What do you do when you are waiting outside the classroom door (or presidential debate) and suddenly realize that you didn't read the mandatory pages for today's discussion?

This 10-step formula is fairly simple and easily mastered:

1. Flip through the book, and select a couple of easy-to-understand charts or graphs. If it is a novel, choose some quotes from a main character. Mark the pages.

2. Always allow others to speak first. Let at least one do-gooder, prepared, student set the tone for the class.

3. Note which words or phrases get a reaction from the moderator, I mean, teacher.

4. When it is your turn, regurgitate those reaction words to either support or refute the previous speaker's comments. Use meaningless adjectives like "really," "very," or "interesting."

5. Produce a lot of words by repeating yourself: "That was really interesting, but I don't agree, even though it was very interesting. It is very interesting that she would say that. I don't agree, though, even though she says it, and it is very interesting."

6. Add your chosen charts or quotes. Use phrases like "the graph on page 42 is interesting," or "this character's words speak to me (and all Americans)." It may be necessary to make up statistics, and say they are from an outside source.

7. If the conversation doesn't seem to embrace your limited knowledge, then a change of subject is required, but with a smooth-ish transition: "I don't agree with [Hillary] because I think that's not as important as one of the words I happen to know. ISIS.

8. Return the conversation to the other speaker by questioning the validity of their words.

9. If they try to pull you back onto those important topics you don't understand, switch subjects again, so they have to spend time bringing the conversation back around to facts. E-mail server.

10. If worst comes to worst, you may need to question the integrity of the other speaker. Suggest that they've manipulated the material to support their own position, but an honest reading reveals something altogether different. Accuse them of lying, so they have to backtrack and defend even the most obvious of statements.

Trump tries to assemble a really interesting, really very interesting, response.

Tah-dah! Before you know it, the 90-minute class is over.

You have taken more time than any other speaker, even though you have said absolutely nothing intelligent, and you still know little or nothing about the topic at hand.

There is only one problem:

Donald Trump is not just trying to get a passing grade in English 101.

A president can't expect to properly serve the country by cramming five minutes before a meeting and then BSing in a room full of well-educated politicians or international leaders.

These debates gives citizens an opportunity to see how each candidate would operate as president.

Donald Trump has not demonstrated that he is able to be prepared to be presidential.


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