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The Incredibly Painful Story of the Happiest Day of My Life

How my natural childbirth turned into a quest for drugs, and other miracles


Molly and Joey 3 days later

I want to write my birth story before I forget! Everyday I forget a little piece of my experience. Supposedly there's hormones that are released after you give birth to make you forget all about the pain.

I don't want to forget.

So from the start of my pregnancy I've been telling myself and everyone that asked that I planned a completely NATURAL birth. Meaning no interventions, no medication, no epidural, no nothing. Just me and my breath. I feel I did everything right while pregnant. Worked out, stayed healthy, ate very well.

So come 12am June 20th my water breaks. No cramping, no contractions, just a ton of water leaking all over me and onto the floor when I got up.

First thought was omg I'm not ready for this! She's a week early! No no this can't be happening.

So I calmly wake my mom up, I call Jonnie to tell him to get his butt back from Santa Barbara and I take a shower to calm my nerves. I started feeling light headed because I wasn't breathing.

Calmly pack up the car (I already had everything packed and ready weeks back) and my mom and I are off! I think she was more nervous than I was! 😜

We arrive, yes my water was broken, and still no contractions.

The nurse and doctor tell me if I don't start progressing in my labor that I may want to consider taking Pitocin to speed things along. Pitocin is a synthetic version of Oxytocin which is the hormone that is released to start your contractions in labor.

We get set up in my room. Set out tea light candles, music, I really wanted to set the vibe. Still no contractions so we tried to get some sleep.

5 hours later the nurse comes into my room suggests Pitocin to get things moving. I decline, still wanting a completely natural birth.

3 hours later I've had maybe 2 very mild contractions, the midwife comes and and let's me know my options. If I wait to long with my water broken it increases risk of infection. Which results in a lot of stillborn births.

I believe it's hour 11 or 12 since my water broke and still NO CONTRACTIONS. I look at Jonnie and say screw it! Let's get this thing going.

They start putting Pitocin in my IV and off we go.

I swear not even an hour later I start feeling contractions. MY GOD. Every 3 minutes I had, what I can only describe as, the most painful minute long contractions. I felt like someone was taking my uterus and twisting it in all sorts of directions. I'm experiencing this for an hour. Trying to move, dance and use my workout ball in all sorts of positions. I start moaning super loud and my mind starts slipping away from me. I'm seeing nothing. Blurred vision and pain so intense I can't

breathe. Poor Jonnie. Encouraging me to breathe while I'm literally holding onto him for dear life, scared I'm going to pass out.

All of a sudden I can't take it anymore. Like the movies I'm yelling out GIVE ME THE DRUGS, GIVE ME THE FUCKING DRUGS! Please hurry!!!!

So they start me with an IV pain killer. My mom finally comes back from running errands and I slip in and out of a dream like state. I would fall asleep then a contraction would wake me back up into that unbearable pain.

I have no idea how much time went by. I thought it had been 2 days. The nurse checks to see how dilated I am and I'm only 2cm... my heart sank.

And again, like the movies, I yell out GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL, PLEASE GOD GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL! At this time I'm literally naked with these god awful hospital undies and huge pads on so I'm not leaking all over everything. Must have been such a sight 🤣.

As soon as that long wire looking thing went into my spine... bliss. Pure bliss.

So to sum up everything so far.

Ended up taking every drug they offered me, had the epidural put in, everything I had not planned or wanted.

Finally I woke up from an hour or two nap and started feeling those contractions coming back. In a panic I ask the nurse why isn't the epidural working?! She says to press the button for more meds. I do, and the pain keeps getting worse.

The nurse checks my cervix again and with a big smile tells me "You're 10cm, it's time to deliver your baby!".

It's on!!! I feel my energy come back and my mind sharpen. LETS DO THIS.

They grab the mirror for me to watch, Jonnies on my right holding my right leg bent and my moms on my left holding my hand.

I push a couple times. Already I can see the top of her head! Omg... she's coming. She's going to be here!!!!!!

Molly, John and Joey sharing the best moment ever.

Everyone is so encouraging telling me to push and saying she's coming! Jonnies right in my ear saying how good I am and how close she is to coming out. The mid wife has me reach down and touch her head.

Omg so soft and gooey.

I'm pumped! Even though I can't feel much I can feel my muscles pushing!! Pushing the hardest I've ever pushed!!!

I swear not even 20 minutes later she's placed on my chest... this is that moment.

That moment that made this hellish experience all worth it. I'm crying as I write this. She's so beautiful. She's so delicate... I knew right there... this is the happiest day of my life.

Culver City yoga instructor Molly Spock is a granddaughter of America's most famous pediatrician, Dr. Benjamin Spock.


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