Santa Monica Observer - Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words

By Stan Greene
Observer Staff Writer 

No Zombie Parking: Santa Monica Enforces Parking Against the Undead on Halloween Night

Sensors on Parking Meters have been set to extra-sensitive, to detect Zombies and Other Undead

 

November 3, 2017

It is an open secret that the City of Santa Monica will have to pay off its enormous debt to its overpaid and under-occupied staff, long past the lives of anyone now living. It apparently intends to pay off that debt, by issuing parking tickets to anyone using the cemetery on Halloween.

Signs in the City of Santa Monica's only cemetery, Woodlawn Memorial Park, indicate that zombies will not be tolerated in the park unless they use public transportation.

"Tow Away No Parking Anytime on Cemetery Grounds," read the new signs. And they're not kidding, as anyone who has been ticketed in Santa Monica would know. Which means every resident without underground parking on private property.

It is unclear though, whether the City's new sensors have been tuned in to detect the dead, or the undead. Or long dead residents rolling over in their graves on All Hallows eve.

As NBC Los Angeles reported last year, "Parking on the street in Santa Monica can be quite the challenge.

"Parking enforcement is already quick to ticket, a car usually swoops in the second a spot clears up and if you're visiting the 3rd Street Promenade, you might as well forget about finding a spot and head straight to a parking garage.

"Now, it's even more complicated. On Monday, the city began installing thousands of new parking meters that can actually tell when one car leaves and another arrives.

"To do this, the meters will use a ground sensor about the size of a hockey puck to monitor the movements of the vehicles. If a driver wants to stay parked in the spot past the allotted time, the meter will not accept additional payment."

It is an open question whether transgendered zombies will be given an exception to the City's parking rules. After all, the West Hollywood Halloween parade is just 3 miles away, on Santa Monica Blvd.

 

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