Santa Monica Observer - Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words

By Amber S. Jackson
Lucky Lifer 

Lady Prisoner Losing My Mind On Quarantine

2/3 of my unit at California Institution for Women tested positive for COVID. Now we're on quarantine lockdown.

 

December 21, 2020

Mohamed Hassan

Please help me!! Yes, I'm on a quarantine. Day 10. And yes, I'm losing my MIND!! Nearly 2/3 of my housing unit tested positive for Covid-19 over this past week!! Two out of every 3 people! So, those of us who are negative for the Covid remain on "quarantine, "which is equivalent to lockdown conditions. I'm on the verge of insanity!! Now, I am not worried about catching this Covid! The toll this lockdown and quarantine are taking on me are overwhelming!! It's beyond belief. I'm struggling mentally and emotionally. On the one hand, I'm upset with myself because of how this is getting to me. I usually have a positive outlook and attitude. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I just know something's got to give!! AAAAHH!!!!!

Before you ask, NO, I'm not suicidal! I'm not hearing any voices. Although hearing voices does not sound so bad at the moment! Maybe I'd have someone to talk to. I'm stressed!! I'm highly tense. I'm anxious. These bricks seem to amplify these feelings. I'm trying everything. I'm writing. I'm journaling. I'm reading. I'm working out. I'm bouncing off the walls. I'm all over the place.

Here in prison, we can purchase our own TVs to have in our cells. But, there is only so much TV one can take. Especially broadcast television. Uhh!! I'm just at my wits end. I have nobody else to but you to turn to! I appreciate you! If not for you guys out there listening to me, I'd have a much worse outlook. Trust me!! This holiday season does not help.

I told you earlier this week, I do have a new man in my life. My Boo, Domonique. Shout out to you Daddy!! He works all day. He's my only slice of joy and connection. On his days off, we spend time talking and bonding. Getting to know each other.

Anyway, I'm loath to even ask you this, but at this point, I have to put my pride aside. After all, closed mouths truly do not get fed. So, here goes...

I need your help!! So, I'm trying to raise $200 for an art and craft supply order. I'm going to order paint, brushes, construction paper, canvas paper, beads, thread and organizing containers.

If you can help, the donation info is located at the end of this. I'm appreciative of any amount you can donate!! Nobody owes me anything. So, I'll be humbled if someone can make room in their budget and their heart to help me. I plan on spending my winter working on my crafts. Art brings me joy. Great joy!! So, I pray I'm blessed to have funds...

Having these art supplies will make all the difference in the world to me! My mental health is strained!!

Painting by Amber Jackson

So, if you are able to help with $10, $20 or the whole $200, I want to THANK YOU in advance for your generosity!! I'll be sure to inform you when I am finally blessed with the $200 I need from this!

HOW TO DONATE:

Jpay.com / 1800 574 J-P-A-Y (5729)

- DEPOSITS FUND$ ( CANTEEN TRUST ACCOUNT ) -

AMBER S. JACKSON CDCR #X15530

CALIFORNIA INSTITUTION FOR WOMEN

PS - Remember, your questions, comments, thoughts, etc. are always welcome!! I will respond. I know just because you're free does not mean you do not have problems also. So, I'm here for you too. I am NOT looking for any romance! That department is occupied. However, I need all the friends I can get.

 

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