Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words
Community, Diversity, Sustainability and other Overused Words
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I absolutely love living in a ''woke'' state while in state prison. Each year the line between female and male prisoners gets thinner and thinner. Soon there will be no systematic differentiation between women and men inside California's state prison system. This could happen sooner than most people think. SB 132 was only the beginning of a campaign. A progressive master plan for total chaos. This is already a place where 'trans' rights now trump those of regular female inmates. If you want to...
Remorse. Most people don't know the true meaning of remorse. The kind of pain that hits you like pouring alcohol on an open wound. Yes, this pain is caused by the pain I've caused others. Yes, I did all of this. I cooked hot cooking oil, poured it into a cup, then threw it on my sister. I used my free will and my hands to once intentionally disfigure my sister Stephanie. I own this and make no excuse. I can't fix or undo this. I was 20 years old. I'm now 37. I'm a totally different person. The...
Here at the CIW's women's yard, transgender women numbers continue to go up. How many? I'm not sure. With Covid-19 causing restricted movement, I'm limited on info. I'm also not sure what to call these people with full male anatomy. So I'll just call them what they are, PENISES. After all, that's what this is all about... No more condoms being given! After only one issuance, CDCR abruptly stopped? But why? I'll tell you why! We, us women here at CIW, raised hell over the condoms! Next thing you...
As Dr. Phil says, "People with nothing to hide, HIDE NOTHING." I'm beside myself to share this story with you. It hit me hard. Like a ton of bricks. See, I'm currently enrolled in the prison's drug treatment program. We had one woman among the program whom was divinely gifted with people. She's black. She's a former prisoner. She's talented with working within the prison. She's genuine. Now, Just like that, she's gone. Transferred to another prison. Why, you ask? Two female prisoners in one of...
I was at the former prison known as Valley State Prison For Women, now a men's prison, I saw something that changed me forever. At VSPW, us women prisoners lived in 8 person cells. It's about 13 years ago now. One day, I was at the table cooking. Suddenly, one of my roommates dropped to the floor, on her back, her body stiff. Her face was blue. I had no idea that what I was seeing was an opioid heroine overdose. She lay on the floor, blue, stiff and struggling to breathe. I assumed it was a...
Observation. That's how I discover what my peers are up to. Occasionally, it rises to the level of an amusement that I must share with others. This is one of those true moments... There's a girl in my housing unit. She's a lifer. She's very fragile. Her body language would immediately put anyone on notice. She's off. So it surprised me when she suddenly got a girlfriend. I made a point to observe this more closely. Sure enough, I listen closely and I heard the girlfriend talking about how she...
It's true. They give it out like candy. This medication crippled me. For months. Stopped all my activities. I'm finally free. I'm finally out from under the grip of it. So, what do I speak of? What's the prison's the drug program hooking prisoners on? Suboxone Sublingual Strips. Basically, they act like an opioid! Like any street drug, it derailed my life. I've spent my last few days with chills, sweating and feeling weak. Withdrawal. I chose to stop the medication. But I paid a painful price. O...
It's true. State Prison Guards now wear body mounted cameras. They keep on rolling while performing strip searches of prisoners. So, how do I know this? I was in the medical building. An officer was stripping an inmate behind a toilet area. And my nosey self went over to look, and the camera was mounted and rollng with the Iight on... Not to mention that the officers' policy states the cameras must stay ON AT ALL TIMES. With the only exception being when officers go to the bathroom. So, they do...
CIW administration didn't think it through. They gave condoms to prisoners. Men could now rape women and leave no evidence behind. Amid the controversy and questions swirling around the California Institution for Women for giving out condoms to prisoners, the Warden promptly suspended the PRISONER CONDOM PROGRAM. "Until further notice." '''The spot is hot. Everybody involved has strong feelings and strong opinions about this big prison transgender mess caused by Scott Weiner. The senator who...
Hell has officially frozen over. Women line up to have sex with HIV positive men now living among our women's prison population as "trans-women." Women have stolen all of the condoms from the dispensers to play with as water balloons. A meth lab on the prison grounds would be no less destructive. Each of us is born with a destiny. It seems Senator Scott Weiner's destiny is to help spread HIV among the poor and the justice-impacted women in California. His intentions are to do as much damage as p...
I'm here on the yard at The California Institution For Women in Corona, California. I'm lucky to be in a unit NOT locked down and quarantined. Upon waking up this morning, I discovered nearly half of the prison is on lockdown and quarantined, pending outcome of Covid testing. Several staff members here at CIW have tested positive for Covid, even after shots. I'm told some of the positive staff members are indeed correctional officers but I have not yet confirmed that!! So, I'm not clear if this...
As I write this, a team of technicians are at work installing cameras in my housing unit. For the first time ever here at CIW. So, all activities will now be able to be monitored and used to prove and disprove things. I'm cool with it. It makes us safer. It keeps people honest. Since I've been here 8 years, many male officers have lost their jobs over relationships with female inmates. I personally saw some of this happening. CIW is known for having a breed of male cops willing to have a...
UPDATE: 3 of the 4 transwomen subjects of this story are HIV positive, according to an officer at CIW. Thus, CDCR's rush to get out the condoms to the population and avoid liability. Too late. The condoms were not yet available when the sex began even though CDCR knew these 3 transwomen had HIV, and it was possible to spread through sexual intercourse. Most of the population does not know this as it is protected by Federal HIPPA legislation. This is every bit as bad as it sounds and looks. Men...
They're here. Who? The MEN. I'm sorry, the "trans women." Transgender women who are still anatomically correct MEN with attached, working penises. There are here now, in this women's prison general population. For the first time. They've arrived. Staff were called to a special meeting to make each staff member aware of the presence trans women on the yard... At CIW, we have a group shower room. With individual stalls. So, you won't necessarily see any women or man in the nude. But for women...
"Yes, I Tithe. " Does it surprise you that this piece of SCUM in prison would tithe? I'm making it a regular part of my life. I say 'making' because it's a VERB. It takes repeated action. Lately, I see a lot of negativity directed at prisoners by people who don't know any prisoners. So, I'm going to use my life as a LIFER and a current prisoner as an example. Because I'm walking-the-walk. I'm 6 years write-up/(infraction) free. I've also got 6 years clean from all drug use. Yes, 6 Years clean...
A girls got to eat. There's a woman on the yard here at CIW making money doing fully nude massages for other women. And for transgender men. No joke. On top of that, she's also a lesbian herself. As you can imagine, this is as taboo as it sounds... Hearing this at first, I assumed it was a joke. Nope. It's the real deal. For about $10 she'll bring her yoga mat and come to anybody's living quarters and do an approximately 45-minute, fully nude massag,e full body massage on anyone. For the fee,...
Prisoners to public critics: "YOU DON'T KNOW US!" I've got something to say... I'm a lifer, so this "early release'' thing does not apply to me. I've got something to say to all the BLIND ANTI-PRISONER-RELEASE ACTIVISTS out there!!. Working against all prisoners. If that's who you are or how you think, please shut up and please listen! I, Amber, am a prisoner. I speak about what I see for myself. Not what I wish I saw. Not what I imagine. It's what I see with my own eyes. Sometimes I like it....
Covid cost us so much and changed us forever! I never thought I'd see a real pandemic. I know most of you didn't either. The last world-changing event on this scale I believe was 9/11. This Covid-19, this Corona virus, is multi-faceted. Dealing damage in the firm lockdowns, quarantines, face masks, death count rising daily and fear touching each and every person in some way. Not to mention job loss and deeper poverty for those who were just hanging on. From here in my prison cell, I felt it too...
Hello everyone. I'm back. I'm feeling like a million bucks!! I'm now between semesters. During covid, I was so depressed at one point, I thought I'd drop out of my AA program!! So, I overcame that and I'm on my way to my degree.... So many things changed since I last spoke to you!! Man!! I took hiatus from writing to complete my first semester of Chaffey College business school work.Here I am!! A big step towards my freedom! So, CIW is back OPEN!! WIDE OPEN!! I go to drug treatment everyday@...
I'm back! Back in SCHOOL! IN-PERSON. Daily. Also, DAILY, I go to in-person substance abuse treatment!! It's been over 3 weeks of prisoners INTEGRATION. For the first time in over a year, the prisoner population mixed together. Bla Bla Bla... So, I'm super happy!! I've not been able to feel or say that in such a long time. Why am I happy? I'm able to go to drug treatment class, where we process and have healthy conversation and interact. It's priceless. It's ESSENTIAL!! This is the cause of my...
Look at me at age 20! Then now! I guess I still got it?? I keep attracting the wrong kind of men!! All they talk about is my picture! "THAT PICTURE!" they keep saying. I guess it's my fault for sharing my bikini photo to begin with? My son's father tore up all of my other pictures!! So, I was left with few choices. I broke up with him while awaiting trial. As a result, he did this and other things to me. I'm the type of person who usually says exactly how I feel. That's always been me. It cost...
I'm in an earnest, sober state of mind. I've asked JPay.com to block 'D.B.' from the entire email platform and placed on the BLACKLIST!! I've put people on the list before, but this man is the worst!! HE is my first real stalker!! I would not think I could be violated by email. You can. Last week, the weirdo wrote me, claiming he 'KNEW' me once before... He is/was!! He believed we were/are in a LONG LOST RELATIONSHIP, a couple who had simply lost contact!! He was angry that I'd not contacted...
Where are the all the decent, normal MEN at?? Anyway, so...here we go again. Another weirdo was been writing to me over the last couple of weeks and says he "KNEW" me before. Says we used to write each other. So, HE remembers ME but I don't remember HIM?? RED FLAG!! BUT No BIG Deal, I'm used to weirdos writing every so often. So, this man starts with a snail mail letter. I immediately direct him to use Jpay email. Then, of course I told him about this column here with you at the Observer. He rea...
I hesitated to share this story. On the yard these is a couple. One is a transgender woman-to-man in the T-Shot, testosterone injections every Thursday for all transgender males. As you may know, they are legally considered males and their physique changes and bulks up with muscle and strength from the testosterone injections. Maybe I should get one?? Just kidding. Anyway, that's the male figure in the relationship, in HIS late 30's maybe? The other is the feminine one. She is about 33. I first...
Have you ever stumbled onto a prisoner website? Well, I'm about to reveal the hottest, most fun way for prisoners and pen pals to connect. There's tons of prisoner pen pal sites out there. One is better than all the others combined. I have no family, so, I depend on these sites to meet people so I don't face this time alone. So, behold, as I reveal something very special and personal to me... Welcome to MEET-AN-INMATE.COM. LOG On, if you dare!... Many of us prisoners post to here. Looking for...
